I'd prefer not to be rescued

Not much has gone on lately, just work work work of course. I still love my new apartment, except for the fact that we still have yet to take hot showers. The maintenance man has come at least 5 times to fix it, and I am getting rather upset about the entire situation. My dad says I need to go to the office and yell but I just cannot be that person! I really wish I could be assertive and not let people take advantage of me but I just can't be mean to people, ugh, I need to man up haha.

Last week I taught my first lesson in church. I subbed for the gospel doctrine class and taught the lesson for Alma 32-35. I was so scared to do this because for obvious reasons I am not very knowledgable about the Book of Mormon stories. I know it's true, that's what really matters, right? While I was preparing the lesson there were so many times when I just got confused and didn't really understand what I was reading or what lesson I was supposed to pull from the story. But I think I did well at pretending to know what I was talking about when I taught.

I have been teaching myself to sew, oh boy, I had no idea what a frustrating task that was going to be. I have been trying to make myself a dress for church, it might turn out okay but I feel so bad for Ash because whenever I work on it I get really flustered and cranky and tend to snap. Poor girl. Hopefully it will be a good learning experience and the dress will be wearable.

I am addicted to Breaking Dawn.

I realized today that there is only week until school starts, and I am totally unprepared. My mind and body are not ready for the extreme stress and lack of sleep it will have to endure, my apartment is not organized/clean enough for me to be able to come home and not feel like I am going to have an axiety attack, my to do list is still way too long, my sleep schedule is horrible and I will never be able to wake up for my 7 30 am institute class. Although I am ready to basically live at the institute and have those wonderful teachers available to answer my millions of questions, for dollar lunch, that feeling of accomplishment after somehow magically finding time for everything, the brand U5 ward and all the newbies that will be transferring in, the opportunity to improve in my classes in comparison to last year, making new friends and loving the life I lead with my current friends, seeing how this year will play out with no plans or expectations (which is really hard for me to grasp, since I have always always always had a game plan). What will I be like when May rolls around? What will I have accomplished? How many amazing memories will I have? I can't wait to find all of this out.

Ashley= scrapzilla, she has been scrapbooking for days, without ceasing. She also has been badgering me constantly to start the scrapbook I bought her for her birthday, I promised to do the first page. There is paper, stickers, ribbon, and paper shards all over my living/dining room floor and table. Oh boy.

Time to go run :) I love how free I feel when I run.

Love, Madi