I have been born as Nephi of old...

Today was the most intense emotional rollercoaster. Today was one of the happiest days I have ever experienced, yet one of the saddest. We'll start with the saddest, so I can end on a happy note.

Following my mom's missionary discussion (which I will describe next) I went over to Michael and Natalie Parks' home. They are like a big brother and sister to me, Michael baptized me and I feel like Natalie is such a great friend and example to me of the kind of woman I hope to become. Tonight we had to say our goodbyes because they are moving up to Michigan next week. It didn't hit me at all until I was leaving. Before I left their twin four-year-old daughters, Madelynn and Sydona, sang me primary songs, "I am a Child of God" and "I Love to See the Temple" and I couldn't help but cry because I have watched them grow so much and it made me so happy to see them singing these songs that conveys the most important truths found in our restored gospel. I am so upset that I will not be around to watch these beautiful little girls continue to grow :( On my way out the door we all hugged and cried, a lot. As soon as I saw Natalie start crying I just lost it and was pretty much sobbing once I got to my car and for the entire drive home. The Parks family has blessed me in so many ways and it is so hard for me to imagine what it will be like with them so far away. :( :( :(

Now for the news I am pretty sure everyone is anticipating: my mother's very first lesson with the missionaries. She was so cute and excited for them to come over, she even had a fresh batch of homemade sugar cookies waiting for them. It was only the elders, my mom, and myself, my sister stayed in her room because she didn't want to hear the lessons. So at first the elders were just talking and getting to know us, we talked about my conversion, my mom said that it was hard for her at first and had thought that I was brainwashed, ha ha, and they just kind of answered some of her questions and cleared up some rumors she had heard. Then the elders asked my mom if we could start with a prayer and asked her to choose who says it. I was sitting next to her and she put her arms around me and asked me to pray. Following my prayer my mom said, "wow Madi, that was really good!" and I just kind of laughed and told her that I do it everyday so it's no surprise ha ha. So the elders gave her the first lesson, focusing mainly on the restoration and the Book of Mormon. They then invited her to read Moroni 10 and she said she would try, she really hates reading and has a hard time doing it, but she said she would try. At this point I bore my testimony of the Book of Mormon being a true translation through the prophet Joseph. Then we all kind of just talked about some things and my mom said that she is really glad they were teaching her and that she is fully supportive of me being a Mormon, that she sees what good things the church believes and practices, especially concerning the family, and that she really liked the things she had learned. She also mentioned that she really liked going to the visitor's center and felt she learned a lot there. She also said she wanted to go to church with me, and this is the part that hurt, she asked me why I hadn't invited her to church sooner...I almost lost it when I heard that. How selfish of me to keep this great gift from her! I hope this experience will teach me to be more bold in sharing the gospel.

This lesson went perfectly. I have never felt like I could talk to my family about the church, ever, for fear of upsetting them or causing problems, but during the lesson I felt so comfortable talking to my mom about the church and bearing testimony, it was as if Heavenly Father had simply used me to convey what he wanted to be said. I still do not understand how I was able to remain so calm and was able to only speak when I felt it appropriate. Considering the circumstances and how long and hard I have prayed for this I worried that I would get anxious and teach things that she was not ready for, or just pressure her to move faster than she is prepared. But I know that Heavenly Father helped me to take control over myself and guide me in my actions and speech. After the lesson I didn't even say one word to her about the church besides thanking her for listening. It wasn't until I left her house that I began to feel overcome with the emotions that I should have been feeling all throughout the lesson and just cried and sang praises at the top of my lungs. I want to thank all the many many people who fasted for my mother, if you were at the lesson it would have been easy to see that she has been truly prepared to take the lessons. I am so excited to continue teaching my mom and hopefully see a change within her. I want so badly for the gospel to bless my family and to one day be able to go inside the temple with them to be sealed for time and all eternity. I love my family so much, although it has been a rough road, I love them regardless and am so grateful for all they have done for me. I am grateful for the plan of my Heavenly Father, I know he has a plan for my family and am trusting that whatever happens, good or bad, that it will be for the most good for my family.

With a Million Rays of Love and Joy,
Madison :)