Saturday, December 27, 2008

Count Your Many Blessings

I feel like every single day I have found something to be thankful for, and have really been pondering about it lately, so I will do as the hymn instructs, and name a few of them one-by-one.

1. My Job. Yes, I know I complain often about it, about how muchmy wrists ache from cooking, and the long hours, etc., but I am so grateful for the job I have at In-N-Out that allows me to have flexible hours during the semester and pays me enough that I can live comfortably on my own and pay for school on my own. Recently I had been praying for help with finances, the last month I had to take a lot of time off and was really concerned about having enough money, so I paid my tithing as had faith that I would be helped. No surprise, Heavenly Father made sure I was financially stable this month, in several ways. First of all, I got a major promotion last saturday and am now a "level 7", meaning I am authorized to run a shift and that I received a dollar an hour raise. Also, I was talking to my boss about buying Christmas gifts for my family and he mentioned that I should be able to get them something nice because he gave me a bonus on my next check! This blew my mind, I have never heard of anyone getting a bonus unless they were all-starring. I asked him why and he just said that I was doing a really great job and wanted to thank me. Major blessing right there.

2. The scriptures. For some reason I have found lately that all the scriptures I am studying seem to apply to me and really enlighten me, and it feels great. I hope I never take the scriptures for granted and really appreciate what I blessing it is to have easy access to the word of God, and to have a prophet who can help us to understand the scriptures even better.

3. My family. Another thing I might complain about too much. I rarely see my family because they are out in Avondale, but also because sometimes it's so hard for me to be around them for long periods of time because there is so much contention. Don't get me wrong, I love them all to pieces, individually, but once they are together they are quite the handful ha ha. This Christmas I wanted to promote family unity so I bought them all different games for us to play together, and it was a big success! The family favorite is this weird random game called Quelf. On Christmas Eve I played it with Mom, Alli, Ken and his two daughters, and it was so awesome to see my mom laughing and having a good time and everyone getting along for the most part. It was also pretty funny to watch my Mom and Sister do the can-can, as instructed by the card they drew. On Christmas, Alli and I played Quelf with Dad and he too had a good time! There are very few things that we can do together and actually enjoy it, but playing games seemed to be a hit! I am so grateful that everyone in my family is working harder to be more loving and kind to one another, I see such a difference in them and I know they are trying, even my sister seemes to be working at being kinder. I love my family and wouldn't trade them for anything.

4. Addison. Addison is a girl who I work with, she is 17, a member of the church, and is living with me for a few weeks. I am so grateful for her companionship, I know that if I had to be all alone in this apartment until Ash and Katie come home I would be so depressed! Addison is so fun to be around, and she is always cleaning the house! I kind of feel bad about it..but then again no ha ha she seems to enjoy cleaning.

5. Blankets. I have woken up freezing cold almost everynight and am really grateful for all of the warm blankets I received this Christmas, one nice one from In-N-Out and one homemade one from someone I work with through the White Elephant gift exchange, and both have kept me semi-warm almost every night. I think it should be appropriate to carry a blanket everywhere, and am wishing that I could bring one to church tomorrow.

6. Sleep. It has been so weird for me to have the time to sleep more than 6 hours, but I am noticing how much of a difference it really makes. I am more patient, my brain functions better, and I just feel better. mmmm I think I will get some sleep right now!

Goodnight,
Madison

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Dear Fall 2008..

I Hate Your Stinking Guts

I am so glad that I never have to see you ever again

I hate how you made me lose countless hours of much needed sleep

I hate how you made me have classes every stinkin' day instead of only twice a week like last semester! Can't I have a schedule that is more accommodating to my needs, that will allow me to work during the day and have a life at night? ugh.

I hate how your Geography lecture was intensely boring and even when I did try and pay attention, none of your stupid geographical jargon made sense to me and therefore made me feel like an idiot.

Why did you make me take Educational Psychology when the teacher just read powerpoints for an hour while I napped upon my desk? I am grateful for the GPA boost regardless of the fact that I learned absolutely nothing, the A is much appreciated.

I did enjoy, however, your Improvisation with Youth course and will really miss all the people in that class and making super fun, interactive lesson-plans. Thank you for teaching me to have fun and be myself.

Thank you for making me join institute choir, or for inspiring Bro. Hofeling to make me join. Without choir I never would have gained the confidence to sing loud and proud anywhere and everywhere, even though I kind of suck, and to really learn to love music and the power behind music and the hymns. Without choir I wouldn't have taken my mother to the temple visitor's center, and she wouldn't have been invited to take the missionary lessons, and I wouldn't be as extremely happy as I am now.

Thank you for my new living situation and my amazing roommates. They have taught me so much about love and friendship, and are amazing examples to me. They also have taught me so much about myself, many things I was unwilling to learn but am glad that I did. I would like to thank them for teaching me to ask for help and to let other people take care of me when I need it, for staying up til 3 am reading general conference addresses/scriptures, watching cheesy mormon movies, hanging up pictures/coat racks/shutters at odd hours of the night, cooking dinner all the time when I am too lazy to do so, washing the dishes way more than I ever did, holding me and listening when things were tough and rejoicing with me when life was at its best, and most of all for being the best friends I have ever had and for helping me to see what kind of person I want to be and growing towards being that person. I love them both more than they could understand.

hmm..Fall 2008..maybe you weren't so bad after all. Maybe you provided situations for me that allowed me to grow and develop, to see what is really important in life, family, friends, being yourself, and having fun. Maybe I had more fun this semester than I can ever remember having in my whole life. Maybe I gained so many new friends and memories that I will never ever forget. Maybe I will miss you just a little bit. I hope my new friend, Spring 2009, will treat me well and give me as much joy, growth, and memories as you have. Please tell Spring that I hate boring lectures, stupid group projects and that I want to get straight A's this time, I know that's a stretch, but it was worth a try. Thanks for everything.

Love,
Madison

Sunday, December 14, 2008

I have been born as Nephi of old...

Today was the most intense emotional rollercoaster. Today was one of the happiest days I have ever experienced, yet one of the saddest. We'll start with the saddest, so I can end on a happy note.

Following my mom's missionary discussion (which I will describe next) I went over to Michael and Natalie Parks' home. They are like a big brother and sister to me, Michael baptized me and I feel like Natalie is such a great friend and example to me of the kind of woman I hope to become. Tonight we had to say our goodbyes because they are moving up to Michigan next week. It didn't hit me at all until I was leaving. Before I left their twin four-year-old daughters, Madelynn and Sydona, sang me primary songs, "I am a Child of God" and "I Love to See the Temple" and I couldn't help but cry because I have watched them grow so much and it made me so happy to see them singing these songs that conveys the most important truths found in our restored gospel. I am so upset that I will not be around to watch these beautiful little girls continue to grow :( On my way out the door we all hugged and cried, a lot. As soon as I saw Natalie start crying I just lost it and was pretty much sobbing once I got to my car and for the entire drive home. The Parks family has blessed me in so many ways and it is so hard for me to imagine what it will be like with them so far away. :( :( :(

Now for the news I am pretty sure everyone is anticipating: my mother's very first lesson with the missionaries. She was so cute and excited for them to come over, she even had a fresh batch of homemade sugar cookies waiting for them. It was only the elders, my mom, and myself, my sister stayed in her room because she didn't want to hear the lessons. So at first the elders were just talking and getting to know us, we talked about my conversion, my mom said that it was hard for her at first and had thought that I was brainwashed, ha ha, and they just kind of answered some of her questions and cleared up some rumors she had heard. Then the elders asked my mom if we could start with a prayer and asked her to choose who says it. I was sitting next to her and she put her arms around me and asked me to pray. Following my prayer my mom said, "wow Madi, that was really good!" and I just kind of laughed and told her that I do it everyday so it's no surprise ha ha. So the elders gave her the first lesson, focusing mainly on the restoration and the Book of Mormon. They then invited her to read Moroni 10 and she said she would try, she really hates reading and has a hard time doing it, but she said she would try. At this point I bore my testimony of the Book of Mormon being a true translation through the prophet Joseph. Then we all kind of just talked about some things and my mom said that she is really glad they were teaching her and that she is fully supportive of me being a Mormon, that she sees what good things the church believes and practices, especially concerning the family, and that she really liked the things she had learned. She also mentioned that she really liked going to the visitor's center and felt she learned a lot there. She also said she wanted to go to church with me, and this is the part that hurt, she asked me why I hadn't invited her to church sooner...I almost lost it when I heard that. How selfish of me to keep this great gift from her! I hope this experience will teach me to be more bold in sharing the gospel.

This lesson went perfectly. I have never felt like I could talk to my family about the church, ever, for fear of upsetting them or causing problems, but during the lesson I felt so comfortable talking to my mom about the church and bearing testimony, it was as if Heavenly Father had simply used me to convey what he wanted to be said. I still do not understand how I was able to remain so calm and was able to only speak when I felt it appropriate. Considering the circumstances and how long and hard I have prayed for this I worried that I would get anxious and teach things that she was not ready for, or just pressure her to move faster than she is prepared. But I know that Heavenly Father helped me to take control over myself and guide me in my actions and speech. After the lesson I didn't even say one word to her about the church besides thanking her for listening. It wasn't until I left her house that I began to feel overcome with the emotions that I should have been feeling all throughout the lesson and just cried and sang praises at the top of my lungs. I want to thank all the many many people who fasted for my mother, if you were at the lesson it would have been easy to see that she has been truly prepared to take the lessons. I am so excited to continue teaching my mom and hopefully see a change within her. I want so badly for the gospel to bless my family and to one day be able to go inside the temple with them to be sealed for time and all eternity. I love my family so much, although it has been a rough road, I love them regardless and am so grateful for all they have done for me. I am grateful for the plan of my Heavenly Father, I know he has a plan for my family and am trusting that whatever happens, good or bad, that it will be for the most good for my family.

With a Million Rays of Love and Joy,
Madison :)

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Best Week Ever

This past week was nothing short of amazing. I already told why Thursday was pretty much the best day ever in my previous post so I will now explaing why the rest of the week was perfect.

Friday

Friday night was the ASU Institute Winter Ball. I had asked the night off, but once Wednesday had rolled around I was growing concerned because no male had asked me to go yet. On Wednesday afternoon I went to Panda Express with Ash, Abby, and a guy from the ward named Chris, who I had just met that day. Later that day Ashley forced me to call up Chris and ask him to the dance, which I did, and which I do not regret in the least. I had a blast with Chris! I thought it would be extremely awkward since we didn't really know each other but we had so much fun being dorky and making up our own dance routines ha ha. After the dance we went to Circle K with Abby and Jerod and got hot cocoa and then played Apples to Apples, my favorite game ever, at Abby's place. This night was so much fun, especially since I didn't really expect to have a good time.



Saturday

On this morning Katelin Roberts (my in n out friend), Abby, Mo, Jerod, and I travelled up to Snowflake to get our baptism on at the Snowflake Temple. I enjoyed every second of this entire trip, even the 7 hours we spent in the car dancing and singing to the radio and the speeding ticket I received on the way home by the yummy looking officer. The Temple was beautiful and amazing and I loved it so much, not as much as the Mesa Temple since that is my home, but nevertheless I thought the Temple was a wonderful experience.





After our visit to the temple we grabbed some lunch at the golden arches and headed over to Show Low because Bro. Hofeling suggested we check out his old seminary building. We went to the seminary building, couldn't get in of course because it was the weekend but we had a fun time taking ridiculous pictures to give to bro. hof





This has been a most amazing and joyful weekend and I am really sad to see it go, especially since the coming two weeks are going to be horribly filled with studying and finals and hating of life. December 4-6, 2008 shall be remembered forever.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep"

Tonight the ASU Institute Choir, myself included, sang at the Mesa Temple, and it was probably one of the most joyous nights of my life. I had invited my family, my mom, dad, sister, and grandmother, to come listen to me sing, and all had committed but only my mom showed up. We rode together and got there a bit early so I took her around the visitor's center. This may surprise you, since I come off as being very missionary-minded, but my family knows very very little about the church and what I know to be true. It was difficult in the beginning for them the accept my conversion so I thought it best to not bring up the topic, so they wouldn't feel like I am pressuring them to convert or that I am "brainwashing" them. Anyways, my mom and I watched the movie in the visitor's center, God's plan for His family. If you have heard my conversion story, you know this movie plays a huge role, when I visited the temple visitor's center a few years ago I had watched this movie and felt the spirit very strongly for the very first time in my life, and it was this instance that led to me take the missionary discussions. Back to the present, at the end of the movie the sister missionary was talking to my mom and I and learned that I was the only member, having been baptized about 1.5 years ago, and also, to my shame, learned that my mom didn't even know what the Book of Mormon is. After talking a little bit the sister missionary asked my mom if she would like the missionaries to come to her house and share a message with her so that she could learn more about what her daughter believes.....and.....she said YES! This has been my fervent prayer ever since I joined the church, that my family would have the same opportunity that I had to learn about this amazing, true gospel. I don't know how I did it, but I held my composure until I walked into the room where the choir was practicing.Once I was out of my mom's sight I felt the most overwhelming feeling of joy imaginable and tears streamed down my smiling face. I am overjoyed that I will soon be able to sit down with the elders and talk to my mom about the church and bear my testimony. My Heavenly Father loves me and has heard and answered my constant prayer. I am so grateful to Him and love Him so much. I feel like I am on top of the world and that my life couldn't possibly get any better.