Becoming something I can't define

This week has been pretty intense, no surprise there. Everyday is the same cycle of school, work, then about 5 hours of sleep. It is getting old reaaaal fast. I am seriously contemplating just getting in my car and driving. My birhtday is at the end of the month and I will get a three day weekend off work, so maybe I will drive myself to the beach, so I can just relax and recoop.

Today in my theater class we started learning about improvisation and we had to do an activity where we are given a topic and had to improv the situation with a partner. It was hilarious. Example:

Instructions: Person A has a crush on person b and you are at a school dance. person a has to try and get person b to dance with them, while person b does not want to dance yet does not want to hurt the other persons feelings.

Julia (A): So, are you having a good time?
Me (B): Ehh it's ok, I am not really into dances
Julia: Well do you like this song?
Madi: I actually have never heard it before
Julia: Really? It's on the radio all the time
Madi: Oh, well I don't listen to the radio, I only listen to my grandparents recordings of organ music
Julia: Oh, well can you dance to organ music?
Madi: Nope, you can only think, deep thoughts, to organ music
Julia: Well, maybe you can try dancing to this song anyways
Madi: Actually I have a doctor's note, no dancing whatsoever tonight
Julia: Why?
Madi: I recently had my left leg amputated, and the doctor said if I dance on my prosthetic leg that it would fall off and disintegrate.

My partner was just dying laughing, we had such a blast.


Last night I went running with my beautiful roommate, Katie Bug, and we were just talking about how much we have changed within the last year, and I realized that slowly I am turning into the kind of person I always envied in high school, the person I wanted to become so badly. The kind of girl who can lay on a bench in the middle of campus and just listen to her ipod, without worrying what other people think; the kind of girl who can be exactly who she wants to be, whether its thoughtful and reserved one day or weird, random and loud the next; the kind of girl who feels a real, true relationship with her loving Heavenly Father (finally, I have been searching for this for years); the kind of girl who feels absolutely free and independent as she coasts on her longboard; the kind of girl who feels confident in herself even when she is beet red and drenched in sweat after a run; the kind of girl who has real friends who she feels 100% comfortable with and who she can't imagine her life without; the kind of girl who sings at the top of her lungs, no matter who is listening; the kind of girl who has absolutely no idea what life will be like in the next 10 years, 5 years, 1 year, 6 months, or even 6 weeks, yet has a perfect knowledge that all things will be for her good and trusts in the one who holds her life in His hands.

I love my life. Every sleepless night, every awkward stumble into a lecture that has started without me, every flat tire/broken water heater/power outage/burned out tail light, every aching muscle after a ten hour shift at work. It's a difficult journey at times, but it would be so much harder if I didn't learn to enjoy every moment of it.

Love, Madi