2 years

I regret to say that I barely took notice that today marks the two year anniversary of a marvelous day: My Baptism. I hoped that today would have been a day to go to the temple and give myself time for serious reflection and evaluation, but of course my life never takes a break and I have been on the run all day long. So, even though the day is almost through and it will probably be tomorrow once I am done writing, I would like to take this time to reflect.

I decided a good starting point would be to read the reflection from my one year anniversary, found here, and see what kind of changes I have made and what things I may have accomplished, and am surprised to say that I have gone through a whole bushel of changes in just one year. A goal I mentioned in that particular blog was to "blend in", and I am sad to say that I may have accomplished this, but that it wasn't what I was hoping. By blending in I wanted to be just like any other member of the church who has been a member their entire life, but after trying so hard to blend in I feel like I have lost a little bit of my fervor and excitement about everything associated with being a member. A year ago I would have been ridiculously excited to hear, see, or do anything that was associated with the church, and I find myself dragging my feet to relief society and missing out on great opportunities for growth. I think it is time to set a new goal: To be 100% myself, to gain as much knowledge as possible through experience and study, to act like a new convert fresh from the font every single day and remain excited about my knowledge of the restored gospel, but do not rely on my conversion as a crutch. I think it may be fun to not even tell new people I meet that I am a convert, just so that if a time comes when it is appropriate to discuss then I can see if they are surprised! So, that will be my new game, and I am excited.

Some things I cannot believe happened in only one year include 1. my mother's decision to take the first missionary lesson, and her newfound support in my religious beliefs. This took me completely by surprise, and if you would have asked me a year ago if this was even possible I would have said no. I cannot express how grateful I am for the growing support from my family members. I hope that I can be an example to them and that I can be a better daughter, sister, cousin, niece, and grand daughter to all of them and just love them until they can't stand it. 2. my decision to serve a mission. This decision came about probably within the last 4 months, and pretty much changed everything for me. I changed my plans for my education and decided to take a leave of absence, I stopped right in the middle of my management training at In-N-Out, I even moved back in with my dad in Avondale. I still cannot believe at times that I am really going, hopefully that isn't a sign that it won't work out, since my papers can't go in for another two weeks. I am SO unbelievably excited to serve a mission, and I already see that it has blessed me and my family so much. 3. I began teaching the new member lessons to recent converts. This one still baffles me, I don't understand how I can be teaching them when I feel like I still have so much to learn! I have loved it so much, and I feel like I just connect and create great friendships with those I teach. I really hope that I can be a beacon to any new convert who has questions or is struggling, since I have walked in their shoes.

I would like to end this memoir by saying that I know, without any doubt whatsoever, that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the true church of Jesus Christ upon the Earth today. To those readers who may not be members it may be difficult to understand how exactly I could KNOW such a thing, but believe me, I know. I can feel it. When I read the Book of Mormon, when I attend church, when I bear my testimony to others, when I attend the temple, I can feel a noticeable change within me, as if my heart is so full that it cannot be contained in my body. It is a feeling I hope I never, ever, ever have to live without, and I know I won't have to, so long as I follow the example of Jesus Christ. Although, I am not perfect in any way, I can be made perfect through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. I feel like this year I just began to understand what that means, and I still have a lot more to learn. What I do know is that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me, as an individual, and they know me. I know that Jesus suffered and died for me personally, and even if he had to suffer the Atonement so that only I could return to live with Him and Heavenly Father, that He would still have done it. I am unmeasurably grateful for that sacrifice.

I love this gospel. I love this church. I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior. I love my life.

And I love you all,
Madison