I haven't posted in awhile, but yes, I am back in Avondale, for the first time in two years, and it has been a pretty strange two weeks. I won't lie, it is rough out here, but I know that I will learn a lot from what I experience here, so long as I keep my faith and I just hang on.
So far I have learned...
I hate the drive from Avondale to Tempe for work almost everyday
My Cake Mix Cookies match my potholders (a deep insight from my father)
Summer Nights are perfect, even when I am enjoying them alone
Addison is my best friend, hands down, I have never had someone who was willing to do so much for me
There is an awesome hill on the way to my mom's house, and I can coast on my longboard for an extended period of time
West-side Mormons are quite a bit different than what I am used to
Tivo was created by divine inspiration
Everyone can appreciate a glass, multi-colored fish
I am very stubborn and I think Heavenly Father is teaching me to change, the hard
way
Satan does not want me to serve a mission, but I am going to anyways
I need to learn to stand on my own two feet
This will be quite a summer. Bring it on.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Attitude Change
Yeah yeah yeah so I had myself a little pity party on my last post, BUT good news is...I feel one hundred percent back to normal, yay! The reason why? I went to the temple. I realized I hadnt gone the previous week and that must have been what made me feel like crap all week! So I went twice this week and am back to normal! So, to redeem myself after making that horrible sad list, I am going to list all the things I am EXCITED for!
1. EFY. I was hired to be an EFY counselor for the summer! Although I haven't been able to accept any contracts yet and do not know where exactly I will be working, I am stoked beyond belief. I have never been to an EFY because I was 18 when I was baptized, so I am very excited to get to experience EFY and also to be a mentor for youth in the church. I feel like there are so many things I experienced before I was baptized that kind of give me the credibility in saying that the "strict" rules of the church are really for our own good, and I am so grateful for the commandments.
2. Moving. Now I know that I recently complained about this, but now I am seeing my move in a new light. I am really excited to spend more time with my little sister, she is seriously the coolest kid I know. She is very random like me so I can only imagine all the amazingly random childish things we will do together. I also will get to spend a lot of time with my mom, who is amazing and I love so much. I really hope I will have many opportunities to talk to her about the gospel, and bear my testimony, I have this feeling that I will and that she really needs to hear whatever the Holy Ghost has me say. Another great thing about home is that it is in a relatively safe neighborhood so I can start running again! I have really missed being able to run outside, and I sure could get into better shape!
3. Illinois. So, my whole dad's side of the family lives in a farming community in north western Illinois, about an hour north of Nauvoo, and I only see them once a year, if that much. So, since I will be leaving for a mission this fall, and since my grandparents are reaaaaalllly old, I feel the need to go see my family this summer. My dad doesn't want to organize an official family trip, no surprise there, so my sister, me, and Addison are going to do a cross country road trip to see my family for a week or so. I am not excited for the drive, but I just feel this is something I really need to do before I leave. I love all of my family in Illinois and the beautiful green landscape, so I am way excited!
4. Elder Loper. My beloved friend and fake brother Matt has received his mission call!!! He has been called to serve in the Massachusetts Boston Mission, Haitian Creole speaking! I am so proud of him for how far he has come since his conversion, and for the huge sacrifice he is making to serve a mission. It makes me so much more anxious to get my papers in and receive my call, I can't wait to go! Only like...two more months til I can send in papers and get my call!
I am glad that my happiness has returned in full force. Yay for life!
Love, Madi
1. EFY. I was hired to be an EFY counselor for the summer! Although I haven't been able to accept any contracts yet and do not know where exactly I will be working, I am stoked beyond belief. I have never been to an EFY because I was 18 when I was baptized, so I am very excited to get to experience EFY and also to be a mentor for youth in the church. I feel like there are so many things I experienced before I was baptized that kind of give me the credibility in saying that the "strict" rules of the church are really for our own good, and I am so grateful for the commandments.
2. Moving. Now I know that I recently complained about this, but now I am seeing my move in a new light. I am really excited to spend more time with my little sister, she is seriously the coolest kid I know. She is very random like me so I can only imagine all the amazingly random childish things we will do together. I also will get to spend a lot of time with my mom, who is amazing and I love so much. I really hope I will have many opportunities to talk to her about the gospel, and bear my testimony, I have this feeling that I will and that she really needs to hear whatever the Holy Ghost has me say. Another great thing about home is that it is in a relatively safe neighborhood so I can start running again! I have really missed being able to run outside, and I sure could get into better shape!
3. Illinois. So, my whole dad's side of the family lives in a farming community in north western Illinois, about an hour north of Nauvoo, and I only see them once a year, if that much. So, since I will be leaving for a mission this fall, and since my grandparents are reaaaaalllly old, I feel the need to go see my family this summer. My dad doesn't want to organize an official family trip, no surprise there, so my sister, me, and Addison are going to do a cross country road trip to see my family for a week or so. I am not excited for the drive, but I just feel this is something I really need to do before I leave. I love all of my family in Illinois and the beautiful green landscape, so I am way excited!
4. Elder Loper. My beloved friend and fake brother Matt has received his mission call!!! He has been called to serve in the Massachusetts Boston Mission, Haitian Creole speaking! I am so proud of him for how far he has come since his conversion, and for the huge sacrifice he is making to serve a mission. It makes me so much more anxious to get my papers in and receive my call, I can't wait to go! Only like...two more months til I can send in papers and get my call!
I am glad that my happiness has returned in full force. Yay for life!
Love, Madi
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Sorry, I need this
I have always tried to be fairly positive about all aspects of my life. I usually welcome trials as an opportunity for growth and with the knowledge that Heavenly Father knows I can survive it. But lately I have just felt the exact opposite. I feel so unenthusiastic, nervous, scared, and overall just lost. As a way of hopefully confronting these odd and rather disturbing emotions, I am going to get right at the source!
Possible sources:
1. The semester is ending.
Normally this would be cause for rejoicing, but since I am not going to school next semester I feel like I am closing a door that I am not ready to close. Yes, I know I will be right back in school once I get off my mission, but still! I don't feel any closure to this part of my life and it just seems like this is not the right time for me to be postponing my education.
2. The mission
I am 100% super stoked to be serving a full-time mission for the church. I wish I could leave right now! But, despite my excitement and my willingness to serve in this capacity, I regret to admit that there is some fear attached. What will it be like? Where will I go? Will I be successful? Will it be dangerous? How will I afford it? Will I be the same person when I come home? Will I still have a group of loving and supportive friends when I get home? Will my family learn to support me? Wow, more questions than I anticipated. I understand that these uncertainties are probably common, but it still scares me that I have no many concerns. Fear is the opposite of faith, so I definitely do not want to fear, I want to just know that whatever happens is going to be for my best.
3. Moving
In about a week I will be moving back in with my Dad in Avondale so that I can save money. I haven't lived with him since I joined the church, and he is not too keen on my religious beliefs, so that makes me nervous. I have no good lds friends in Avondale. The family out in Avondale that baptized me has moved to Michigan and I don't even want to think of what Avondale is going to be like without them being there for me. I feel like I am at a point in my life when I am going to need a lot of support and strength, especially as I prepare to enter the temple and to serve a mission, yet I am moving to a place where there will be very little strength or support. This will be a true test for me, and to be honest, I am scared out of my mind. I do not want to fail, but I feel as if failure is looming over my head.
Well, there it is, time to stand a little taller, paste on a smile, and try my best to survive. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. :)
Possible sources:
1. The semester is ending.
Normally this would be cause for rejoicing, but since I am not going to school next semester I feel like I am closing a door that I am not ready to close. Yes, I know I will be right back in school once I get off my mission, but still! I don't feel any closure to this part of my life and it just seems like this is not the right time for me to be postponing my education.
2. The mission
I am 100% super stoked to be serving a full-time mission for the church. I wish I could leave right now! But, despite my excitement and my willingness to serve in this capacity, I regret to admit that there is some fear attached. What will it be like? Where will I go? Will I be successful? Will it be dangerous? How will I afford it? Will I be the same person when I come home? Will I still have a group of loving and supportive friends when I get home? Will my family learn to support me? Wow, more questions than I anticipated. I understand that these uncertainties are probably common, but it still scares me that I have no many concerns. Fear is the opposite of faith, so I definitely do not want to fear, I want to just know that whatever happens is going to be for my best.
3. Moving
In about a week I will be moving back in with my Dad in Avondale so that I can save money. I haven't lived with him since I joined the church, and he is not too keen on my religious beliefs, so that makes me nervous. I have no good lds friends in Avondale. The family out in Avondale that baptized me has moved to Michigan and I don't even want to think of what Avondale is going to be like without them being there for me. I feel like I am at a point in my life when I am going to need a lot of support and strength, especially as I prepare to enter the temple and to serve a mission, yet I am moving to a place where there will be very little strength or support. This will be a true test for me, and to be honest, I am scared out of my mind. I do not want to fail, but I feel as if failure is looming over my head.
Well, there it is, time to stand a little taller, paste on a smile, and try my best to survive. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)