Living with a shadow overhead

The last few days have turned from the biggest feelings of relief into the biggest feelings of disappointment. Tuesday I turned in my massive ten page paper, took my last final exam and then went to an In-N-Out company party at Dave and Buster's, which was a great end to my semester cause I had a blast! Wednesday and Thursday I went to Avondale to see my family and friends, which was also great, I had really missed them all. I came home Thursday night, and that is when my downward spiral began. I checked some grades and started out being ecstatic because I got a 92% on my final paper, putting me at an A for the class, woot woot, I then checked my grade for my online childhood development class, saw that I got a 100% on my final exam and was so stoked because that should have put me at another A, but I glance down and see that my final grade is a C, what the crap?! I checked the gradebook and apparently she did not receive my last two homework assignments, which I happened to bust my butt on and submitted on time through blackboard, but there must have been a computer mess up because she did not receive them, and there is no record of me ever turning them in. I e-mailed my teacher asking if there was anything I could do, she basically said "sucks to be you" I couldn't re-submit my assignments, even though I had them saved and it would take two seconds to submit them, she said she had submitted grades to the registrar and I should have been more responsible, ugh, how could anyone say that I am not responsible! So I have to talk to the department head and see if there is anyway I can get my grade fixed, there is pretty much zero chance though. I pretty much busted my butt this semester, working full-time and going to school, and I will still most likely lose my scholarship because of this one stupid class, and it isn't even my fault, if I actually didn't do the assignments I would accept my fate, but to lose my scholarship over this makes me feel so defeated, like I worked so hard for nothing. My grades will be as follows: A+, B, B, A, C (stupid), giving me a gpa of 3.18, just below the requirement of a 3.25 for my scholarship. Oh, and I might lose my other scholarship because my parents made to much, I am meeting with the guy in charge on thursday to figure things out.

It is very very very nice not being in school. I have time to get sleep..I have been working out every day, I have read a bunch of books, and I just feel so great about myself. The one thing I am not excited about is that I have to get a second job working with kids for my major. By august I need a letter of recommendation from my employer saying I work well with kids or whatever. So today I applied at the YMCA to be a summer camp counselor, but I told them I only want to work like 10 hours a week, since I will probably be getting close to 40 at INO. Lame.

Nice White Lady

Oh my word finals are killing me.. I have to get 2 a's and 4 b's this semester or I will lose one of my scholarships, and my grades have really suffered from me working full time this semester so I am pretty much freaking out right now lol. I have three exams tomorrow then one exam on tuesday and a ten-page paper due tuesday, that I haven't even thought about writing yet, uh oh.

Yesterday in my cultural diversity class we talked about the concept of teachers being active moral agents for their students and this was really neat to discuss, basically how we should get our students thinking critically about society and the things they are learning. When I teach I really would like to teach in a school that is in a low-income area, at a school that is struggling, just because I think those are the kids who really want to learn but receive no help or encouragement from their schools and I want to teach those students who appreciate education and who will really benefit from me as a teacher. In class we watched this hilarious video that made me feel really stupid for wanted to go to a poor school and "fix things". Just because I am a "Nice White Lady" doesn't mean I can go into a struggling school and save all of the students, but hey I am going to try :)

One day I'll be as good as Spongebob..

Yesterday at work I finally got passed off as a certified cook!!! I know this probably sounds dumb to anyone who does not work at In-N-Out but I have been learning how to cook for the past year, and my divisional manager had to come to store and give me a checklist to make sure I am fast enough and that I am making quality burgers, and I was sooo nervous! But I passed! So now I get bumped up to level 6 and will be making 12.50 an hour, yeah buddy! Management here I come!

I'm reading His instructions, I'm following His plan

Today I went to Kara's house to work on a group project for SPE and she has one of the cutest mormon houses I have yet to see..not as cute as my future mormon house because none will compared to mine and my husband's ;) But it had and basement, which was way cool and then they had like all this cute picture up of their missionary sons and like a cross stitch of joseph smith..man i love to just soak up the mormon culture, my friends who have been members their whole lives must think I am soo weird, I would probably agree with them. Only one more day of classes!!!!! Oh my gosh that is the best thing in the world.. except that now I have exams to prepare for and several papers to write..ugh. Only like two weeks until I am officially done..phew! Oh I found this awesome thing on you tube, thanks to Jerod, and need to share because it makes me go "awwwww"


Doesn't that make you want some kiddos of your very own to sing primary songs to you all the time?! lol totally kidding guys.. marriage first!
love, Madison

Cradle your head in your hands and breathe

I just went running and I know I would looooove running if only I knew how to breathe properly so that I don't start hyperventilating every ten minutes lol. I decided I am going to get in shape, so I am going to jog/walk/run whatever my breathing allows and then do crunches as often as possible. I think if I exercise more than I won't be so exhausted allll the time and won't get sick as often, which would be great.

Only a week left of school..oh my heavens I cannot believe I have completed a whole year of college!! I wish I was already done with all four years lol. College sucks. In my opinion at least. All I have left to do, besides the actual final exams, are two e.c. papers, one presentation, and one ten-page paper. Wow, next week is going to super suck.

Despite all the stress, the added hours to my already crammed work schedule, and the exhaustion, I am strangely happy, like really happy, lol. I feel like smiling until my face cracks, singing at the top of my lungs, and dancing around my room like a crazy. I think I will do all of those things... RIGHT NOW! Wow I am so weird, but you like it, and so do I.

Have a super duper fantastic night!
Love, Madison

She faced the morning unafraid and invincible

This week is totally kicking my butt! I have been so busy and lacking sleep that I am getting sick! UGH! So I had a really interesting experience last night (friday night). I was baby-sitting my manager's kids, they are LDS, there is a 5 year old, a 3 year old, a 1 year old and a 5 month old, oh boy were they a handful! I think this was a really good experience for me, even though i was totally exhausted after about an hour. I know that the greatest thing I will do on this Earth is be a good mother, and I really don't want anything other than that, once I am married of course, lol. For the first hour I was just so flustered, holding the baby in one arm (she would scream if I put her down) while getting the three older boys in their jammies, teeth brushed, book read, and prayers said, and was just so so so tired. After the boys had gotten into bed, they surely were not asleep until after I had told them another 3 times to plleeeeaaase go to sleep, I sat in the dark nursery in a rocking chair feeding the baby her bottle. It was at this moment that I thought wow, could I handle this on a daily basis? I was dead tired, my whole body ached, and I was struggling to keep myself awake while rocking the baby. All I had to do was look down into that gorgeous baby girl's eyes to know that yes, this is what I want one day, I could do this everyday. I know I am such a loser for being so sentimental about baby sitting but it was like a total wake up call that being a mom is not going to be all fun and games, but it will totally be worth it. Maybe the King's will let me baby-sit some more so I can get some practice in lol!

heaven made sense and all the words rhymed

Nothing much as happened lately that is exciting, so sorry I haven't posted anything! Last night I drove out to Avondale to have dinner with some of my bestest friends, the Parks family. Michael baptized me last year, his wife Natalie is my adopted sister and their twin 3 year-old girls, Madelynn and Sydona, are pretty much the cutest girls I have ever seen in my life. So I went out there for a yummalicious spaghetti dinner, the elders were also there, elder clift and his comp elder yount. Elder Clift was the elder that taught me the missionary discussions a year ago so it was so great to get to see him again. I have been writing him ever since I was baptized (which is totally legal because he is in the phoenix mish and I am in the tempe mish, don't worry guys) which has been about a year and I am so excited for him to get off his mish in June so we can be hang out without companions, or name tags, like normal friends lol.
I am pretty stoked because this friday I am signing an apartment lease for next semester! Finally! I will be living in a two bedroom apartment with Ashley Jungluth, Katie Sparks and Erica DeLeon, with Ash sharing a bedroom with me. It is going to be soooo much fun! I love those girls and am so excited for our super fun party apartment!
I cannot believe there are only like 3 weeks left in the semester! I am so excited for summer, I cannot wait to finally have a break and get some relaxation. There is a very good possibility that as soon as I am finished with finals that In-N-Out is sending me to live in St. George Utah for two weeks to train the associates at the new store. I am very excited for that because I'd pretty much be making bank because I'd work 50 hours a week, plus be living for free and eating for free (thanks to the company and the allowance i'll be getting) and if the manager in Utah likes me then I'll get a big fat bonus :) PLUS I'll get one day off a week and I'll be able to go to the temple!!! Woo Hoo! I love temples!
I hope everyone else is doing fantastic..I love you all!
Madison